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When Sex Gives You More Pain Than Pleasure
Get to the bottom of this issue, so you can enjoy sex again.
Sep 20, 2018
May 04, 2023
Sexual DysfunctionSheryl Kraft, a freelance writer and breast cancer survivor, was born in Long Beach, New York. She currently lives in Connecticut with her husband Alan and dog Chloe, where her nest is empty of her two sons Jonathan. Sheryl writes articles and essays on breast cancer and contributes to a variety of publications and websites where she writes on general health and wellness issues. She earned her MFA in writing from Sarah Lawrence College in 2005.
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As menopause hits, estrogen levels drop, and what often follows is dryness and thinning of the vaginal tissues. The uncomfortable symptoms can include a sensation of tightness, dryness and severe pain or burning—hardly a sexy scenario.
A dry vagina is not only bothersome but can mean painful sex, a common complaint of as many as 46 percent of postmenopausal women. And the numbers are likely higher, because many women feel a stigma or are too embarrassed to talk about it.
Medically known as dyspareunia, this pain—which can happen before, during and after sex—may develop as a result of the vaginal dryness, known as vulvovaginal atrophy. It also may have other psychological or physical causes, including vaginismus or genital injury. Vulvovaginal atrophy—the thinning, drying and inflammation of vaginal tissues—is common around menopause, due to declining levels of estrogen.
Whatever the cause, vaginal pain can put a strain on the best of relationships, sap self-esteem and affect a woman's quality of life.
The consequences can reach far beyond painful sex itself. Fearing pain, women may involuntarily tense their vaginal muscles or avoid or refrain from sex altogether, further complicating matters.
Fortunately, there are treatments, which sometimes require a multifaceted approach.
Other strategies that can help manage dyspareunia include counseling and self-care. Treat your vagina gently: Use mild soap or plain water to wash yourself and pat, rather than rub, dry. Steer clear of products that contain perfumes (like bubble baths or douches) that may be irritating. Wear combatable-fitting cotton underwear, which is more breathable and wicks away moisture, and avoid tight-fitting clothing.